A clinical example of how self awareness has improved a therapeutic relationship for me is as follows. I was performing an initial evaluation of a woman complaining of (it has just dawned on me that in our notes writing of a patient’s complaints or what they are complaining of is a very negative almost condescending way at looking at what they are sharing with us) L hip pain and low back pain. Her past medical history included multiple scelerosis (MS). She presented with gait deviations, balance deficits, decreased range of motion, weakness, and lumbopelvic movement dysfunction. In my mind I was thinking (like many other health care providers before me) that most all of her symptoms are probably related to MS how I can really change the progression of her neurological deficits.
I became aware that my previous minimal experience of successfully treating patients with MS and my fear of not being able to help this patient had potential to make my ears deaf to what she was really sharing with me. I decided to let go of my insecurities, listen, and really hear what she was saying to me. What I heard was that she wasn’t convinced that her L hip and back pain symptoms were results of her MS, but she was struggling to find a health care provider that would listen and look further than her MS. Her reality was she could tell that her pain was from a musculoskeletal source not her MS. She seemed very passionate about what she felt, so I believed her.
I evaluated and treated her like she had an orthopedic problem not related to her MS. After a few sessions she nervously shared with me that she was reading a book called “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay and that she had found that part of her balance problem had to do with her left side of her body and her right side of her body not working together, her left side being her feminine side and the right sided being her masculine side. I told her I knew exactly what she was talking about, because I was also reading the same book. I then looked at her as she stood with all her wait primarily on her L lower extremity and having to hold on to the table, and said “Yeah, it looks like the way you stand you are two separate people”. She was unable to even weight shift onto her R foot without losing her balance. I taught her a couple of exercises to do to her improve balance and then she left.
When she came back the next week, she said on her way home after the last P.T. session it all made sense. Her left and right side were like two different people and she was so use to her mom (left feminine side) doing all the work for her dad, and men (right masculine side) were never to be trusted or counted on that was why she couldn’t put any weight on her right leg without losing her balance. So she said she wrote an affirmation about her left and right side of her body working in harmony and practiced the exercises I had given her. She then got up to show me since doing the affirmation and the exercises for a week she could now stand on her right leg without holding on and losing her balance. She had a miraculous recovery and after a few weeks was able to walk normally, go up/down stairs without difficulty, balance on one leg, and walk on uneven ground without a cane. I let go of my ego and let her reality and inner wisdom guide me. Throughout the treatment sessions we both became more aware of ourselves and how we could heal.
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